You’ve given me the gift of contradiction
Internal conflict to strengthen my conviction
Passion is dangerous (It makes me get off my ass)
But so is that last second (Lying on my deathbed)
When the momentum of my apathy (It slams into me)
And buries me twisted (Unable to prove I existed)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
fullmetalfan24 (9:42:43 PM): in general, do you think it's more satisfying to live knowing hurtful truths or blissful lies?
benny x j00n (9:44:34 PM): and lol'ing XD
benny x j00n (9:46:32 PM): a balance of both, but if I had to choose, truths :X I think there'd be more closure in a situation with truth. how about you?
fullmetalfan24 (9:51:21 PM): I tend to agree for that reason..but would you rather have closure or just not know? like, a run-over cat may be happy and curious until the moment it dies suddenly, and yes that moment is surely terrifying..
fullmetalfan24 (9:51:47 PM): but wouldn't it be worse if it knew?
fullmetalfan24 (9:52:39 PM): if it knew..about the world, about its relative insignificance, about how thousands of cats die the same way, about how casually the world reacts (or doesn't)?
fullmetalfan24 (9:53:39 PM): it's easy to say that truth is better if you're an outside observer, but for myself, I don't know.
benny x j00n (9:58:13 PM): some people need that kinda perspective.. harsh, I know, but true. if you're walking this world oblivious to the inevitable, you're the walking dead :X being hurt eventually heals; there's no room for strength in a lie.
benny x j00n (9:44:34 PM): and lol'ing XD
benny x j00n (9:46:32 PM): a balance of both, but if I had to choose, truths :X I think there'd be more closure in a situation with truth. how about you?
fullmetalfan24 (9:51:21 PM): I tend to agree for that reason..but would you rather have closure or just not know? like, a run-over cat may be happy and curious until the moment it dies suddenly, and yes that moment is surely terrifying..
fullmetalfan24 (9:51:47 PM): but wouldn't it be worse if it knew?
fullmetalfan24 (9:52:39 PM): if it knew..about the world, about its relative insignificance, about how thousands of cats die the same way, about how casually the world reacts (or doesn't)?
fullmetalfan24 (9:53:39 PM): it's easy to say that truth is better if you're an outside observer, but for myself, I don't know.
benny x j00n (9:58:13 PM): some people need that kinda perspective.. harsh, I know, but true. if you're walking this world oblivious to the inevitable, you're the walking dead :X being hurt eventually heals; there's no room for strength in a lie.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Oh, the consequences of procrastination..
So.
It's currently 11:53pm and my QuestBridge application is due at 12:00..Pacific Time, thankfully. I've been trying for three hours to log in..all I have to do is upload my friggin essays. I know there are 5,000 other kids like me spamming the "Open Application" button..I've gotten in twice but then I couldn't go any farther.
IT'S SO ANNOYING.
I need a solid deskpound --> facepalm combo right now.
At least I have things to look forward to tomorrow..
- SNOW CONES.
- Powderpuff.
- My last Homecoming game.
- My last national anthem for the Homecoming game.
- Sheetz in the morning?
Well, it's 12:00. I hope some losers give up soon. Or succeed. I don't really care. Just gtfo the system.
Today, while Sam and I were on a search for ever-elusive purple bandannas (of course we found them at Wal-Mart, duh..why did I ever doubt), I couldn't get over how comfy my tux pants are. I'm gonna start wearing them more often..they're second in long pants behind sweatpants. Plus they look smexy, I'm sure. Oh, and I want to start shopping for clothes at Rose's. I like cheap/consignment clothes..they're more human.
I just realized how ironic that was after I raved about tux pants..
http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html
^I'm "re-blogging" that from Ben. It's kinda bogus but has an interesting concept.
http://academicearth.org/
^Waldron showed me that. It has a lot of interesting lectures available on random topics..nice distraction for the free time that I won't have for the next month.
JUST GIVE UP KIDS. YOU'LL NEVER GO TO COLLEGE ANYWAY. GARRRHRJFBNILFJNVLFBJNSLJKBVHSDJLBVHSJLH.
I'll probably post my college essays later. Like, much later. By the way, if anyone reading (haha, riiight) wants their essay edited, hit me up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgI02I7nE3k
^I friggin love this commercial. I laugh every time. Speaking of which..DOLPHINS ARE BRINGING IT MONDAY NIGHT BABY!
I have to see Jackass 3D.
Wow. This is terrible. I give up, I'm going for an extension. Later.
And look out for our powderpuff routine. It's nasty.
It's currently 11:53pm and my QuestBridge application is due at 12:00..Pacific Time, thankfully. I've been trying for three hours to log in..all I have to do is upload my friggin essays. I know there are 5,000 other kids like me spamming the "Open Application" button..I've gotten in twice but then I couldn't go any farther.
IT'S SO ANNOYING.
I need a solid deskpound --> facepalm combo right now.
At least I have things to look forward to tomorrow..
- SNOW CONES.
- Powderpuff.
- My last Homecoming game.
- My last national anthem for the Homecoming game.
- Sheetz in the morning?
Well, it's 12:00. I hope some losers give up soon. Or succeed. I don't really care. Just gtfo the system.
Today, while Sam and I were on a search for ever-elusive purple bandannas (of course we found them at Wal-Mart, duh..why did I ever doubt), I couldn't get over how comfy my tux pants are. I'm gonna start wearing them more often..they're second in long pants behind sweatpants. Plus they look smexy, I'm sure. Oh, and I want to start shopping for clothes at Rose's. I like cheap/consignment clothes..they're more human.
I just realized how ironic that was after I raved about tux pants..
http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html
^I'm "re-blogging" that from Ben. It's kinda bogus but has an interesting concept.
http://academicearth.org/
^Waldron showed me that. It has a lot of interesting lectures available on random topics..nice distraction for the free time that I won't have for the next month.
JUST GIVE UP KIDS. YOU'LL NEVER GO TO COLLEGE ANYWAY. GARRRHRJFBNILFJNVLFBJNSLJKBVHSDJLBVHSJLH.
I'll probably post my college essays later. Like, much later. By the way, if anyone reading (haha, riiight) wants their essay edited, hit me up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgI02I7nE3k
^I friggin love this commercial. I laugh every time. Speaking of which..DOLPHINS ARE BRINGING IT MONDAY NIGHT BABY!
I have to see Jackass 3D.
Wow. This is terrible. I give up, I'm going for an extension. Later.
And look out for our powderpuff routine. It's nasty.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
An Attempt to Boost My Writing Spirit
"You, my friend, are the sitiches in my pillow, the intricately-woven fabric of my dreams, and the sutures that lash my spirit to my very being."
"Opportunity will never have to knock on your window if you keep it open."
"Life is not a waiting room."
"We hoped for the best, and let go of the rest."
"APATHETIC."
CORSAGE --> CARGOES
YOUR HAIR --> OI, HURRAY!
(everything but the third and fourth are mine)
It's not working.
"Opportunity will never have to knock on your window if you keep it open."
"Life is not a waiting room."
"We hoped for the best, and let go of the rest."
"
CORSAGE --> CARGOES
YOUR HAIR --> OI, HURRAY!
(everything but the third and fourth are mine)
It's not working.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Altruism: Pass it on
"Life is like a catapult; the more strength you apply, the higher you fly."
-Yours Truly
For those of you who don't know, I'm a rec league soccer coach for a team of 6th-10th grade boys. This morning, we had our third game of the season - it was the first we won, and it was quite convincing (10-3). Albeit one of our games we had five people due to a Boy Scout trip, we have a pretty nice team.
Coaching is more difficult than I expected. In some ways, though, it's easier. The actual soccer teaching is the easy part; everything else is the hard part. For example, I ran a goal kick drill last practice that literally involved just kicking the ball as hard as the kids could across the field. First, I had to gather all the balls and put them in a line. When I told everyone to go find one, they started fighting over whose was whose and had a hard time watching my first demonstration. Some kids even picked up the ball and punted it, even though I specifically said it was a goal kick drill. After they kicked, they moseyed across the field and bickered again over whose was whose. They kept kicking others' balls away. Eventually as the drill progressed, one kid got really mad and chucked his ball over the barbed wire fence (guess who went to get that one). I just don't understand what's so hard about just doing a simple and somewhat fun drill. Technically, by the last kick, it looked like they had improved (or at least had a better idea of how to do it), but we could have done twice as many kicks if they hadn't been so unruly. Of course, about half of the players were cooperative, but a personal distraction is always a distraction for everyone. This, coupled with the politics of parents and playing time and bad refs (I told our last white trash ref to stick to farming after he told me to shut up for asking him about a questionable handball non-call) makes for a good challenge. I certainly enjoy it, but like anything I'm passionate about, it's annoying sometimes.
Anyway, sorry for that rant. In other news, I pissed my choral director off by not going to a choir festival that he tried to mandate for everyone..haha. I enjoy singing, but not for 8 hours straight. With 200 other people. Twice.
Today I attended a local chili festival with my girlfriend and her parents..it was fun and the blues band was fantastic. Apparently the lead guitar/singer guy has been doing it for 40 years, which is incredible. Just imagine the passion it takes to not get bored or mad at your bandmates for that long..that's quite respectable. All the instruments were on point the whole time. It was rare appearance of outside talent in the Boro. My only regret is that we arrived too late to try many chilies.
The past few nights, the moon has been incredible. Tonight was probably the best, but on Thursday I ended up walking out at like 4 in the morning. I wrote a poem about it, actually. I did it in couplets with iambic pentameter (I've been reading the Canterbury Tales for English..). I can write so much better when I have a specific topic to cover. Expository just comes easily to me, just like the structured poem I wrote. When I try to think of my own ideas, they're usually alright when I'm doing prose, but my creative poetry is terrible. I do so much better when I have a template to fit my ideas into - two pages, address these topics, __ syllables per line, whatever. I feel like my comprehension and creativity are at their peak when I follow a pattern. Plus, good free verse poetry is hard to come by because everyone thinks they can do it..
Anyway, I think I'm about done. I may post my poem later..until then, peace.
-Yours Truly
For those of you who don't know, I'm a rec league soccer coach for a team of 6th-10th grade boys. This morning, we had our third game of the season - it was the first we won, and it was quite convincing (10-3). Albeit one of our games we had five people due to a Boy Scout trip, we have a pretty nice team.
Coaching is more difficult than I expected. In some ways, though, it's easier. The actual soccer teaching is the easy part; everything else is the hard part. For example, I ran a goal kick drill last practice that literally involved just kicking the ball as hard as the kids could across the field. First, I had to gather all the balls and put them in a line. When I told everyone to go find one, they started fighting over whose was whose and had a hard time watching my first demonstration. Some kids even picked up the ball and punted it, even though I specifically said it was a goal kick drill. After they kicked, they moseyed across the field and bickered again over whose was whose. They kept kicking others' balls away. Eventually as the drill progressed, one kid got really mad and chucked his ball over the barbed wire fence (guess who went to get that one). I just don't understand what's so hard about just doing a simple and somewhat fun drill. Technically, by the last kick, it looked like they had improved (or at least had a better idea of how to do it), but we could have done twice as many kicks if they hadn't been so unruly. Of course, about half of the players were cooperative, but a personal distraction is always a distraction for everyone. This, coupled with the politics of parents and playing time and bad refs (I told our last white trash ref to stick to farming after he told me to shut up for asking him about a questionable handball non-call) makes for a good challenge. I certainly enjoy it, but like anything I'm passionate about, it's annoying sometimes.
Anyway, sorry for that rant. In other news, I pissed my choral director off by not going to a choir festival that he tried to mandate for everyone..haha. I enjoy singing, but not for 8 hours straight. With 200 other people. Twice.
Today I attended a local chili festival with my girlfriend and her parents..it was fun and the blues band was fantastic. Apparently the lead guitar/singer guy has been doing it for 40 years, which is incredible. Just imagine the passion it takes to not get bored or mad at your bandmates for that long..that's quite respectable. All the instruments were on point the whole time. It was rare appearance of outside talent in the Boro. My only regret is that we arrived too late to try many chilies.
The past few nights, the moon has been incredible. Tonight was probably the best, but on Thursday I ended up walking out at like 4 in the morning. I wrote a poem about it, actually. I did it in couplets with iambic pentameter (I've been reading the Canterbury Tales for English..). I can write so much better when I have a specific topic to cover. Expository just comes easily to me, just like the structured poem I wrote. When I try to think of my own ideas, they're usually alright when I'm doing prose, but my creative poetry is terrible. I do so much better when I have a template to fit my ideas into - two pages, address these topics, __ syllables per line, whatever. I feel like my comprehension and creativity are at their peak when I follow a pattern. Plus, good free verse poetry is hard to come by because everyone thinks they can do it..
Anyway, I think I'm about done. I may post my poem later..until then, peace.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My In-blog-ural Post
This is what happens when I have commitments - I go off and find more. Not that this is meant to be any sort of formal commitment..it's mostly just a device to prevent me from not writing at all, since I'm terrible at writing in physical journals even though I like them so much better.
I don't expect many views. In fact, I'm fine with none at all. However, if you do view, you should leave a comment. I appreciate them.
Here's what you shouldn't expect:
-Perfect grammar all the time, though I do strive to make it correct.
-Internet memes used frequently for comedic purposes. I hate them and they're not funny.
-Many curse words.
-Many emoticons.
-Proper use of ellipses..I think they're ugly.
-A lot of images. I'm clearly a more verbal person, but I won't refrain from posting cool stuff I find either.
-Me to hold back.
-Most importantly, consistency. Usually when I write casually, I'm in a mood when I'm passionate about something. I will write things with which I wouldn't normally agree just because it's on my mind and I'm trying to expand as much as possible. Life contains infinitely many perspectives, and I try to expose myself to as many as possible.
If you made it this far, you should be proud. I genuinely appreciate your interest in my thoughts. Expect my first real post soon!
I don't expect many views. In fact, I'm fine with none at all. However, if you do view, you should leave a comment. I appreciate them.
Here's what you shouldn't expect:
-Perfect grammar all the time, though I do strive to make it correct.
-Internet memes used frequently for comedic purposes. I hate them and they're not funny.
-Many curse words.
-Many emoticons.
-Proper use of ellipses..I think they're ugly.
-A lot of images. I'm clearly a more verbal person, but I won't refrain from posting cool stuff I find either.
-Me to hold back.
-Most importantly, consistency. Usually when I write casually, I'm in a mood when I'm passionate about something. I will write things with which I wouldn't normally agree just because it's on my mind and I'm trying to expand as much as possible. Life contains infinitely many perspectives, and I try to expose myself to as many as possible.
If you made it this far, you should be proud. I genuinely appreciate your interest in my thoughts. Expect my first real post soon!
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